Purposed To.....

Well, I have purposed to no longer wear myself out by unnecessary means. Last night, I felt I had no strength, tired, burdened by various doctrines, sermons, books, frustrations, and evil. Yet, "it came to pass" that I prayed and the Lord was my Helper. I prayed and He was my Strength. I prayed and my burdens were lifted. I prayed and He opened up my understanding. I prayed and felt a calm, a sense of peace and His love for me, though I don't deserve His kindness to me. I thank God for all things, knowing that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."

Now by unnecessary means, I mean mostly by sermons & books. As it stands right now, I have 30 books in my room, which most, I haven't even read a page out of, but intend to read them. Now those books which I want to read touch upon hundreds of different things. There is a discontentment in me, a desire to buy more books, when I should understand all the books that I have now and eat and digest them well, take time to read them thoroughly, not rushing them, but reading them over and over if it takes me my whole life.

According to my Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary one of the Greek words for covetousness, is pleonexia, which literally means, "a desire to have more". Now, I will not say, that is definitely what covetousness is, due to my lack of understanding to the Greek and Hebrew language. Though I will live with a good conscience, if I should have no desire for more, but rather to have a zealous desire for God, to be most satisfied in Him and most contented in Him. To not be shaken and stirred by desires for more.

Now, what strongly wears me out is searching through thousands of sermons and trying to hear the best ones, trying to digest it all, on top of books and on top of the Bible. How tiresome and weary it is to me, to study sermons and books and the Bible at the same time. So my purpose now is to not listen to sermons (not in the strict sense, but rather in a laid back one, lest I wear myself out by doing that) and get one of my books, get my Bible and delight myself in the Bible, meditate over it, and read my book.

I must say though, prayer is vital, it is needed to live and a Christian cannot live unless He prays.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.